run

Free Run, Day 5

Thursday, September 21st, 2023 

POST-RUN MORTUM

Time Running: 30

Distance Achieved: 1.87 miles

Tunage: Classic Rock Spotify 

Well, today’s run was brought to you by every single thing that puts me right inside of my head:

• Treadmills 
• A screen with stats in real-time 
• The ability to see myself as I run
• A window on the door that said treadmill was placed directly in front of, which meant that every person walking by in the Holiday Inn Express could see me as I did my “random hill” training course

I had grand plans today, y’all—beautiful plans for a run on the beach. Literally on the beach because down here, the sand is compact in a way that I thought would be fun and possible to run on. And even if the sand wasn’t the right kind of surface, there is a beautiful boardwalk along said beach that I was planning to use as my backup that I could have easily dipped over to. But the gods of rain and thunder had other plans. So inside I stayed. To complete my first-ever run for this program on the dreaded treadmill. 

God, I just hate it so much, you know? I think when I would run on the treadmill when I was a member at NYSC, I didn’t mind it so much because I wasn’t ever really running outside. But now that I’ve made friends with the streets of Manhattan, the idea of staying stationary on a clunky piece of machinery feels so wrong. And, like I said, it combined everything I hate, the biggest thing really being the fact that it flashed my distance, calories burned, time, and heart rate in a garfish orange glow before me. It was so distracting that after about fifteen minutes, I took my shirt off to cover it, which helped, but then I was in my sports bra and shorts, running in a very exposed way. Or it felt exposed, at least. Coupled with the fact that there was a tv screen attached to the treadmill that wouldn’t play anything, it was like having my own personal black mirror from hell glaring back at me as I watched all of my wobbly bits wibble and jiggle as I hoofed it. 

I was focusing on every part of my body that bothers me. My arms, my stomach, the way my thighs rub together. It sucked. This is also why I think I enjoy running outside. There is seldom a reflective surface that I need to come to terms with. I can just sort of exist in this bubble where I know I’m doing something good and just live inside of that. But I was confronted by myself today. Literally. And I hated it. 

Even Spotify did me dirty with the classic rock shuffle today. Just not great songs, one after the other. Ahh well, I suppose every run, every experience can’t be a good one, but this one, especially on vacation, felt icky. 

I did read this thing, however, about building up stamina and endurance in running, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s not at all how I’ve been going about it 😂. SHOCKING I KNOW. But, yeah, it was really interesting because I thought that to build up the endurance and stamina, I should just sort of run the same thing over and over and build up the familiar muscle, right? Wrong. By integrating different distances, shorter vs longer, and doing like, sprints vs long distance, that is how the stamina grows and becomes its strongest. I’m excited to start doing this, if for no other reason than it means I don’t have to run for 40 minutes to an hour each run; what a blessing that will be. I am excited by the prospect of becoming better at this, and I think this is why I’ve been so consistent, right? Like, I’ve been consistent with my numbers – excluding today because today’s run sucked, and I’m just letting myself accept and live inside of that – but I think I’ve been so consistent because I’m not pushing myself in the training. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know to do that. But now I do. And you know I love a game plan. So, game, set, match, mothercluckers. I will rise from the flames of this shitty workout like a portly phoenix. Caw caw, bbs. Caw caw.