run

Free Run, Day 13

Tuesday, October 10th, 2023 

POST-RUN MORTUM

Time Running: 16:55 

Distance Achieved: 1.5

Tunage: Classic Rock Shuffle 

Sunning Milestone: Spit On Own Sneaker

What a nice, easy run to get us back into the groove. This morning I found myself on 14th street for an annual with one of my favorite doctors, and the High Line was only a block and a half away. I figure if I’m already that far west, might as well take advantage of one of my favorite spots in the city. 

I will say though, running it is different than walking it, and I was shocked to see the number of people on it so early in the morning. Like, it was busy. I was dodging people left and right, there was a great amount of lateral movement and one exquisite quick reflex moment where a man saw me coming and then literally chose to step directly into my path. I gave him my best disgruntled New York City groan as I dodged him, but all in all, I felt good about the run. 

Today was supposed to be my hill day, but seeing as the knee is still tender, rested yes, but still tender – even the best roast chicken is still tender after she’s been rested….and I just lost all of the vegetarians and vegans out there, didn’t I? – I thought it best not to go too hard. The good thing about the Highline is that there is a good amount of variation in the levels. It’s not all flat, and I was surprised to see there were some bebé hills, which felt good. Almost like I was doing my hill circuit, while also being acutely aware that I was most definitely not doing my hill circuit. 

An interesting thing happened on today’s run, and no, I’m not talking about spitting on my own shoe, which is a folly that I got to share with one bewildered postal worker who watched on in abject horror and mild disgust as the thick glob of saliva dangled and then eventually plummeted down to the top of my sneaker. No. This isn’t about the shoe. Or the way the guy shook his head like I had disappointed him. IT’S NOT ABOUT THAT. The interesting thing that happened today was that I felt myself wanting to stop and walk. This was always going to be a short run, only because I was doing the Highline, and that was my route, I wasn’t going to go beyond that – even though I did end up running up to 30th and 8th, but it’s because that’s where I was let out. So I only ran 16 blocks. A cool 1.5 miles. I knew it was going to be short. And yet, this was one of the hardest runs in this training program to date. I don’t know if it’s because I missed a few days or if I was trying to run in a way to not aggravate my knee, but there was this tension I was feeling, and I had the urge several times to stop and bring it down to a walk. I kept on, though, implementing the technique I first used when I was home in CT. I found little markers along my path. 

See that tree up there? You know you can make it to that tree. 

That bench? You got this, all the way to the bench. 

On and on, finding little finish lines along my way and then moving it further on down the way, until, eventually, the glistening towers of Hudson Yards were looming directly over me. 

I think this is my thing with running. This is going to be the thing that will get me to cross any finish line; my stubbornness and resolve. I talked about that in my very first post, and only now have I realized that there is a way to harness and utilize that stubbornness into something that can make me stronger. But what’s whilde is that I’m finding it’s most effective when coupled with empathy and compassion??? What a concept, I know. But damn. Give me a goal to hit, and I will knock it out of the fucking park. In the past, I haven’t been able to do that without such cruelty to myself. But now, I’m learning that it is possible to hold myself in light, to extend myself grace, to, fuck it, love myself enough to know that I will hit this goal because I am capable and strong and fierce. Not because I only have something to prove. Not because I need your validation. I mean, listen, I’m a Sagittarius with Libra and Picese in my chart, I’m always going to need a little bit of your validation. But if it can come from me? If I can lead that charge? Holy fuck, I think I might be unstoppable. 

So, yeah. Today was a good run. I didn’t break any records, I didn’t go for a very long time. But I was purposeful and intentional in my movement. My only regret? I didn’t stop at Amy’s Bread for a chocolate sourdough twist to have after my run, but that’s ok. I’m going to surprise Sharone in a bit with chocolate babka, and that will be my reward. Oh yeah, and I’m going to ice my body into eternity. So, if you need me, I’ll be the girl with the ice packs stuffed into her yoga pants. 

I’m not kidding. 

You think I’m kidding. 

I’m not.