run

Free Run, Day 18

Thursday, October 26th, 2023

POST-RUN MORTUM

Time Running: 17:30 minutes 

Distance Achieved: 1.58 miles 

Tunage: Hadestown 

Confession time: I cheated a little bit today. Well, not really cheated, but here’s what happened: 

My shift was over at 5 pm, and I had to meet my darling dear friend Shaina at 5:30, and I was like, I’ll get my run in here because she is about 1.5 miles away from where I work, and I know I can run 1.5 miles in 30 minutes. But then, I didn’t get to leave until 5:15 pm, and I cannot run 1.5 miles in 15 minutes, especially not with my backpack and massive water bottle. So, I ran about a mile, and then I stumbled upon a Citi Bike dock, and I did it; I rode the bike the rest of the way there. And I forgot to turn off Runicorn, so, it logged it. 

I still count it though, because it was exercise, and I was hoofing it on that bike. Made it there in racord time. Don’t tell my mom that I rode without a helmet, though. I never do that, but extenuating circumstances led me to do it today. I was very safe. 

So, yes, that is where we are today; a half run, half bike. And then, later, Shaina and I went to see the pumpkin flotilla, so if I’m being picky, it was a breath away from a triathlon, which is something I would honestly love to do one day. I feel like that would be fun. 

Ok. Four days days out. Well, three and a half, really. PT was great yesterday. Patricia worked my legs out and they felt so much better when I left. We also talked at length about my post-race recovery. She suggested that I take a little bit of time off from running, which has me feeling all kinds of conflicted. It really does. There is a part of me that worries if I take a break, then I’ll stop. And I don’t want to stop. I don’t at all. I have come to love this time and love everything it makes me think and feel, and I will need to be careful to not fall off completely. But if my knee ever wants to get back to a place of health and healing, before we can truly strengthen it, it needs time to rest. And as long as I’m working at the coffee shop – which, again, I love – I won’t see the kind of rest that I need. 

So, after Sunday, we rest for a little while. Which feels bittersweet.

Patricia, my amazing physical therapist, and I talked about what that means. She read my mind and told me not to push, not to try and overdo anything, not to leave it all out there on the course. “Run the race you know how to run, the one you’ve been training for.” That got me weepy as hell. Weepy. As. Hell. And listen, the Ally who started this process probably would have been like “sure” to her face, and then blown it all out of Sunday. But the Ally writing this post today, on Thursday, October 26th, is thinking about my body and what it needs and what looking ahead actually feels like. The Ally writing this is extending grace to myself. 

The Ally writing this is also carbing up because she was told she could. Patricia and I had a good joke about that actually, because there’s not really much reason to carb load for a 5K, and we all know I have run many miles on very little calories. But you also don’t have to tell me twice to eat carbs. I did allow myself a chocolate croissant at work today, which I think shocked my co-workers who have only really ever seen me eat a banana and a spinach and cheese boureka. So, yeah, perhaps I’m not carb loading, necessarily, but that chocolate croissant did hit the spot. 

Outside of that, there’s not much else to report. The mile I ran did feel good, and per Patricia’s instructions, I’m not going to push it on my next run this coming Saturday. In my mind, I thought I needed to finish strong, but she told me that you actually don’t want to do that before the race. You don’t want to risk blowing yourself out. Again, as someone who pushes and pushes, this is a wild concept, but one that I am trying to honor. I am trying to be smart, and strategic. And if it means I get another chocolate croissant tomorrow, so be it. 

So. Be. It.